The Facebook Post

I went back to when I joined FB. Alice had had pneumonia, scarlett fever, flu, lots of colds! We used to ride the bus but then she started melting down so Tom started driving us. When the bus or car would drive by Star Market when she was 2 years old, she was obsessed with Star Market!

There's so much I miss by not blogging regularly and FB just doesn't cut it. When Alice was 2.5 years old, I posted this:

"cm and her husband have varying opinions regarding the wearing of pink sparkly shoes by the toddler."

And I have NO idea what I mean. Probably Tom wanted to save them for special occasions.

"cm is torn: accept invitation from daughter's Guatemalan care provider to evangelical mass so as to provide daughter with cultural experience?"

And we didn't go, partly cause I didn't want to set false expectations and partly cause it was in Lynne (a hike). But I am sad that they are no longer in Alice's life.

"cm had an amazingly lengthy and coherent conversation with her 2 year old via cell this morning."

And that was at 2.5 yo. Now she talks to her grandparents!

"cm loved pogo dancing at the fair today with Alice on my shoulders!"

Alice still loves the fairs in Harvard Square. Her favorite the past two years has been the dancers.

"cm wonders what else her 2 year old would do for a Hello Kitty bandaid. . ."
One time I found a huge box of bandaids on the clearance aisle at Target for $.99. I bought two boxes. I gave her one on a morning she woke up before 6am so I could sleep in. She lay in bed next to us, opening bandaid after bandaid. Tom was appalled. I felt I had done a great job of helping her develop her fine motor skills ; ).

"she asked me to make her an ergo so she could easily carry her babies! and we were going to a party so she wanted to be dressed fancy (this came from reading Mo Willems's books about the 'fancy pool costume party' . . . too funny!"

Alice still loves her babies. Her favorite for two years was Cinco. Now it is The Sleeping Baby. And she has an imaginary friend/baby named Boca. She only does dress up though if friends are over, never on her own. On her own, it is all babies and kitchen.

"cm spent a lot of time today hiding from monsters and snails, and loved every minute! (Wonder where she learned about monsters? School???)"

Alice for a long time pretended snails were the bad guy.

"oh happy day alice has begun to internalize the panoptic observer"

She told herself to 'take a break' in a stern voice. But Alice was never good at time outs. We did a horrible job of trying to discipline her because her reaction was always to violently bang her head. Ugh.

"cm is enjoying the conversations about dogs, the weather, and pink cell phones she is having today. That's about where I'm at right now."

I cannot express how intensely I love hanging out with Alice. I find her such a joy and delight.

"five hour later, we are probably only 1-2 hours away from being ready for our family bike ride!"

This was 2 years ago. We got a bike trailer, and used to time our rides when Alice napped, as she could cry hysterically otherwise. Now she's a pro, and we have her in a seat on the back of Tom's bike. Next step: the type of seat that attaches to the back of the adult bike with pedals and handlebars. It goes soooo fast! And she just keeps getting more and more fun.

"Alice's theme song this morning: "Leave em alone leave em alone beh beh" sung to the tune of Breakin the Law by Judas Priest"

I don't think this needs annotation! Right now she's been singing 'I wanna be sedated!'

"grillsmith with the family . . . booth + toddler means success!"

Alice is a terrific traveler and loves going to Tampa to see Maemae and Papa. Her restaurant behavior . . . has improved since age 3!

"pool lunch pool dinner pool . . ."

Such a fish! When she was little, we called her Rosie the Riveter for the way she she splashed like she had a quota when we held her in the pool. Now she can do the backstroke and is learning the crawl.

"Alice is soooooo sad to leave her daycare for preschool. I wish I could make this easier for her. I keep telling myself this is a good life lesson. Ugh. . . Ok this morning I had to just drop her off and not stay and I had to walk down the hall listening to her crying and now I am crying. This is awful!!!!"

I was talking to some other parents about Kindergarten and the coming transition from pre-school, and I was anticipating/reminiscing about the hard time Alice had transitioning to preschool from daycare. One of the moms said to me, "Yeah. We remember." It was really, really, really bad. And now it isn't. A good life lesson for us all, some at age 3, others at age 38.

Day 2: "left Alice crying this morning. Am sitting in car, called the school, she if fine, I'm the one that can't stop crying!!! . . . Omg its awful I called tom to try and calm down and am still all teary. Why is it so hard? . . . I know she will end up loving Harvard Yard! I hope so! I believe so! I think it is bringing up adoption issues for BOTH of us. I cried this am like I did when we had to leave her in Guatemala at 2.5 months. And this too shall pass! I can only imagine how hard this is for her!"

Day 3: "more tears today. Leaving Amy's care is HARD!"

Week 2: "Alice's teacher let her water the plants this morning, and there were NO TEARS! . . . week two day one: good drop off but lots of calling for Mama all day."

Week 2 Day 2: "ok this morning lots of talk about not liking the new school but then I got a kiss and a push out the door! . . . alice's teacher speaks spanish to her at her new school yippee!!!!!"

While I have come to love Harvard Yard, the start was really rough. I don't know what we would have done without Natacha and Kim. Her first year, the morning teacher decided to leave halfway through the year, just as the school was moving to a modular classroom for a renovation project. The two teachers she ended up with were PERFECT for Alice.

"finally remember to send out lame email invites to her daughter's themeless/giftless birthday event with her school friends. Figure the money we are saving on themes/gifts now will be spent on therapy in 20 years."

This was for her third birthday. It was an awesome birthday as my parents came up and we made cupcakes, had old and new school friends over, and just generally celebrated our awesome child!

"week two of new school:new germs and alice has a full body rash and head cold . . . scarlet fever. the funny thing I diagnosed it via google last night. . . scarlet fever + rain . . . need ideas for the toddler! . . .thank you all for the awesome ideas. so far: bath, tent (which made me really sleepy i think i'm claustrophobic) , playdough, cleaning house Alice-style, dance party, dishes . . . what time are the cocktails??? what kills me is how much energy she has! . . . ok, so Mama napped but not Alice. I doubt Marmee napped."

"now googling concussion. fingers crossed that this internet diagnosis is also correct (as in no concussion). . . Alice. She was holding my hand and twirling to the buskers in the Square and fell. This on top of scarlet fever and she still has more energy than me!"

"asks: activity ideas for a three year old birthday?" and "apparently needs to make 'balloon cupcakes' for her daughter's class Friday."

Still trying to plan that party! I feel so much pressure, but as a working mom, often don't have the time and energy to indulge in long fancies of creativity.

"as of tomorrow will begin to bribe her two year old to behave on the bus. . . It's just that she's been so good on the bus until recently! I was lured into a false sense of two year old behavior expectations!"

Yeah, that was interesting. I went to Target and spent about $50 on supplies. A special 'bus bag' that each day would hold a different snack, toys, stickers, bandaids pencils and paper etc . . . It worked pretty well, but we still had a hard time on the bus. It was the new school, having to hold it together all day by the time we walked across campus to the bus station, waited, and boarded the bus, she just didn't have it in her to listen. I told the story to some colleagues one day, and after the fact realized they were childless. The judgment! It was kind of astounding how unforgiving people can be with each other, for things about which they know nothing.

"is so grateful to Alice first, foster, and forever families for allowing this amazing person to grace my life!"

Alice is not terribly keen about talking about her adoption, despite the books we read her and the stories and pictures. She is very proud of being Guatemalan, however.

"Great party today. Ally told Becky all about "the pig that broke and so the kids cleaned up the candy mess". Hope you are feeling better."

We get a pinata every year. For her first birthday it was a star, but no one brought their kids to the park. Her second birthday, the kids were all too young. For the third birthday, I ended up on bedrest with a staph infection on my leg. I was up for the party, but had sent my dad and Tom out for supplies. Hence, the pig at the themeless, balloon cupcake party! For her 4th birthday, the pinata was a rainbow. We went from a 3rd themeless birthday to a 4th over-themed birthday: sports, rainbows, balloons!!!

"needs to find the black cat costume . . . probably the last year it will fit my baby!"

For three years, Alice wore the black cat costume my mom had made me. At 1 yo, I had to roll the sleeves and legs and she crawled around with her tail dragging the ground. At 2 yo it fit perfectly. At 3yo, it was supershort and tight!

"omg people how do I get this child to go to sleep???"

ALice still has a hard time getting to sleep almost two years later. The good news is that she has been sleeping through the night in her own bed. That's also the bad news, actually, as she is an excellent snuggler. Sob.

"cm is grateful to Piaget for predicting the cycles of learning."

I have no idea what I was referring to here! The limitation of relying on FB instead of blogging.

"cm is thankful for the day spent with her lovely daughter."

"cm is thankful I have no meeting till 2pm and can go take care of my little sickie. . . is thankful her husband is the toddler whisperer when it comes to medicine . . . is thankful for a rainy day . . . better for being inside with my sick Alice! . . . is thankful her daughter was not up last night because of the fever."

Another thing about kindergarten--I'm kinda dreading the new germs!

"I love love love age three!!! . . . Alice woke up at 5:40am and told me, "Mama, by body is all full of energy now."

The funny things she says! Age three began the Aliceisms:

"Alice tells me when putting on her pants: I don't need underwear because I have a zipper."

"today's Alicism upon waking and taking off her diaper: "Nancy Pelosi does not have diapers because she is a mama and helps Barack Obama."

"heard Tom ask Alice to snuggle under the covers with him and she replied, "I can't. I'm dangerous."

"wishes she had remembered Brian's clever retort to use when a passenger complained about Alice's one brief meltdown at the end of a perfect flight. grrrrr"

Alice does a terrific job traveling in general. I wish there was a way I could let people know that so they chilled out and were more accepting!

"admits I laughed when my daughter lay on the floor crying "My legs are broken my legs are broken Cheryl!"

"alice has decided papa's bed is a safe place to sleep and that maemae and papa can sleep in her bed and not be scared of the loud fireworks."

"tonight Alice said: Mama, you snap my button!"

"sneezed this am. Alice asked:
Mama, what happened.
Mama: I have your cold, honey.
Alice: No Mama, you don't have my cold. You have your own cold. *I* have my cold. "

"our current obsession? Robot Dance Music of course!"

The first year at Harvard Yard was halfway done, and they started acclimating the younger kids to the older room for the Summer transition. The older kids had a teacher that played an ecclectic mix of music, including Alice's favorite: Devo! Whip it good!

"adopt twin cat siblings for alice, check!"

When Alice was 3.5 we adopted two cats: Gabe and Jake. Jake mostly hides but Gabe is Alice's bff. He is so patient with her handling of him, even seeks her out!

"still doesn't know the difference between paint that washes off in the shower and paint that requires you to cut off all your daughter's hair. . . but she is very aware a difference exists!"

Ahem. Well. Tom went to Texas to see his mom and I decided I couldn't stand the dark brown cabinet around the sink in the kitchen. So I decided Alice and would paint it white using leftover paint in the basement. My next brilliant idea was to paint naked so I didn't have to worry about ruining any clothes. We'd just hop in the shower and rinse off. I also had the foresight to put her hair in ponytails to make sure it stayed out of her eyes and the paint. Can we say FAIL????? The ponies ended up dipped in paint, and when we got the the tub, the paint did not rinse off! I finally got our skin clean with a loofa and baby oil. Alice was so patient! But the hair--I had to cut it all off, then take her again the next day to get a professional to fix it. She looked so adorable in her supershort hairdo, and loved not having to brush her hair. At 3 yo she had a lot of high energy boys in her class, and loved having her hair like Will's and Orion's. By 4 yo, her class was dominated by 8 girls and two different boys, and so now she is growing out her hair. I actually think it has a lot to do with her wanting a swinging ponytail for when we go running. She admires the way my pony swings when I run at the gym.

"getting my hair done by Alice--lots of spray and pretend cutting involved"

"alice asked me tonight: maman are you fine or are you ridiculous?"

"didn't see alice awake this am and misses her so much!"

It's true, it would be better for me to go to the gym then to work early to get everything done that I need to do. But my family is so important to me, and it isn't like I would get out of work and could get her home early. I hate the days I don't see her waking up or going to bed. My minutes with Alice are so few, and even though I lose my temper sometimes, I adore her, watching her play and grow and learn, and don't want to miss more than I already miss while at work.

"alice just asked for pink hair . . ."

This was a constant request for a while. I got her clips from Claire's Beauty with synthetic pink extentions, but I expect a punk bleach/dye job in her teens.

More Aliceisms: "Alice: when you die, the explosion comes out of your body."

"we spotted the missing flip flop from the bus -- what are the chances of that ?!?!?"

I'd taken her in the jogging stroller to Star Market, and let her take her shoes off on the way home. The basket was so full, one fell out at some point. I still cannot believe we saw it later that day from the bus. We stopped and got it!

"Alice's anti-sleep stance continues: asleep by 10pm up at 5:50am. . . we tried baths warm milk massage this child just doesn't believe in sitting I cannot wait till we can get her on a kangaroo bike seat, those ones where the kid pedals too!!!"

"sticky earrings and fake colored hair!!!"

That was another big trend, sticky earrings. Lately she asks every once in a while to get her ears pierced, but when I explain it her interest wanes.

"Alice this am: Mama, it is too hot for kisses today."

"Alice this am: mama, do you want to play sticky earrings this morning?"

"feels like an part of my body is missing without her little hand in mine -- back to school and work!"

"MASSIVE meltdown today by the half-pint. Wish I knew how to help her when she loses it : ("

I still don't know how to help her. It makes me worried for the teenage years.

"got teary this am when alice headed to her first game at fenway w her dad"

"mama: what is the point of baseball?
alice: you hit the ball and then you run to home plate. if you don't hit the ball then you're out."


"alice to dada: you can't go to the museum. tom: why not?
alice: only people with vaginas can go to the museum.
(not quite the feminism I'm aiming for lol!)"

"wishes Alice could say flunder (thunder) forever but knows this is fleeting"

"finally measured: I get about 18 inches of space on the bed given the hub cats and kid. no wonder I can't get to sleep!"

"Alice declared she was the director, handed us some dead weeds from the garden, and told us to dance. the weeds were candy that we had to throw at the end of our dance, then we could pick up our candy. where does she get this stuff??? she sat and clapped the beat for us before finally joining in."

"alice said her belly was hurting this morning. she says she has a chocolate virus."

"alice this morning wanted to play mortgage officer. should we be watching more cartoons???"

"Mortgage Officer Alice (MOA): Is that your husband in the bathroom peeing with his penis?
Me: Yes.
MOA nods and fills out forms.
MOA: What is his name?
Me: Thomas Holmes McNeely
MOA: Yes, I've met him before. What are your kitties names?
Me: Jake McNeely McGrath and Gabe McNeely McGrath
MOA: Ok, good. I need you to feed them lots of food and give them lots of kisses.
Me: I can do that.
MOA: Ok, that will be $7.

"she bakes chocolate banana icecream in her pretend kitchen, while in the real oven she puts her Melissa and Doug cupcake set. And then we go on vacation. And then we come back from vacation. And then since we were gone on vacation, Tom forgets to check the oven before pre-heating. So yes, she bakes!"

"listening to Alice sing You are my sunshine to Tom."

"red sox stats on the radio--mama's tuned out--alice perks up, what? what?--yes, I have a baseball girl!"

"first mother daughter pedicure today was so wonderful!!!"

The first was at almost 4, the 2nd in Texas at Christmas. I wish we could do them every week!

"Alice: one time I had a dog named Alice. she was allergic to donuts."

"Alice: what's that? Mama: salmon mousse. Alice: did it come from a moose?"

"just took Cinco for a walk before bed. life is good!"

"since yesterday, alice has begun giving us updates about her children: gum and bicycle. today, gum rode home on the bus and bicycle rode home in the car."

"alice told my mom she didn't want any birthday presents, just for her and Papa to visit."

"gum and bicycle had to get to school early this morning for a meeting."

"day 2 at the gym yay me. but left a sobbing girl behind. remember when I worried about bonding?"

"guess the Alicism: where are my croutons?" (batons)

"alice just told tom: I'm going to sleep now and dream about how much you love me."

"Ok so I just asked Alice if they made me a present for my 40th birthday? No. Did you buy me a present? No. Then after thinking a second, Alice said, "I'm your present!" "

"alice wants to know why grownups don't get pajama days. seriously, excellent question!"

"Alice: "in my country is where the flying dogs go to fly""

This is one of my favorite quotes, as it came after we had been in Texas seeing Abuela and her cancer treatments, after we knew Tom had cancer and he had gotten his PEG and started treatment. It is such a wonderful, uplifting image to me and I've held onto it for all these months.

On the other hand: "alice: my superpower is whiny voices."

"we just saw 2 military helicopters flyiover the Charles.
Alice: "I think that is Mubarak flying to Milkshake."
Mama: "He's going to get a milkshake?"
Alice: "No, it's a country!"
Tom: "Sheik el Sharim?"
Alice: Yes!"

"alice, " mama can I have some candy?"
mama, "no candy isn't good for you when you have a cold."
alice, "ok can I have some dried out seaweed instead?".
love this girl!!!

"Alice: I don't believe in anything; I believe in everything."

"Upon the occasion of Tom retelling the moment when Alice found the finial he had lost when replacing the fan light, expressing his extreme relief, Alice pipes in with "I'm a natural!""

Easter, Age 4.5:

We told Alice we saw the EB at dinner. Her questions:

How did he order?
Did he have a napkin in his lap?
Did he drink from a straw?
Was he fluffy?

Alice: We'll just go outside and check for eggs. The EB won't be there. He won't kill us. He's just really fun and funny and we can't pet him. But he won't kill us.

the conversation that occurred on the first day of soccer and immediately prior to my realizing I needed to do a better job of set-up:
Alice: When does the soccer start?
Mama: Soon, we are waiting for the coach.
Alice: Is it going to be scary or a person?
Mama: The coach is a person.
Alice: Good.

Alice had us play Beatles tonight.
Tom=John
Mama=Paul
Alice=Ringo
Accurate?